


Love Yourself

by AngelsAnarchy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: But we've gotta get some fluffy stuff going on first, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I just know that I really wanted more of Alec with the warlock child, I'm not sure how long this fic is going to be, I'm terrible at tagging and summaries but hey you've made it this far, M/M, There might be some smut in this, i love me some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 04:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9531008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsAnarchy/pseuds/AngelsAnarchy
Summary: Alec had trained his whole life to protect the mundanes, keep the downworld in order and make sure his family always came back from missions. In the past week, he'd failed at all of those things. He couldn't keep his family safe, he couldn't keep demons from possessing him and he couldn't bring himself to take Magnus' advice to forgive himself. He was on the verge of completely losing it when a little warlock child comes stumbling out of a bush at the institute. The last time he saw her, Iris was whisking her away through a portal talking about the dangers of this world and he didn't blame her but here she was again, standing in front of him looking for help. Alec refused to let her down.Based from the end of episode [02x05]





	1. Chapter 1

Alec watched Jace practically carry a sobbing Clary to her room with Isabelle trying to balance her other side supporting her the best she could. His sister eyed him sympathetically knowing that he would not follow, knowing that no matter how many people told him it wasn't his fault and that they didn't blame him, he blamed himself. He'd tried keeping Magnus' words in his head but after almost letting Clary get raped by a demon, he didn't see whatever it was that Magnus did. He looked in the mirror and saw a failure, weak, disappointing miserable excuse for a Shadowhunter failure. He couldn't shake this feeling of worthlessness. It was a feeling he always held onto growing up with Jace and Izzy but it never felt more prominent than right now standing outside of his home unable to even go inside without feeling utterly suffocated. He couldn't save Jace, he couldn't get the demon out of Izzy and he couldn't even protect Clary when he was trying to help her get her mother back. He couldn't protect anyone. It was his job to protect mundanes and keep order but he could barely keep his breathing steady at this point

He walked outside, loosening his collar so he could catch his breath. The night air had a thin iciness to it that almost burned the wet skin on his face and eyelashes from when he let himself shed a few tears for Clary and Jace. He ran his hand down his face and closed his eyes. It had been quite a long time since they'd had a funeral where he'd actually knew the person they were sending off but watching Clary break down trying to say her mother's name hurt him. He'd taken the one person that Clary loved more than anything, the person who she'd fought so desperately to get back and after everything they'd all gone through he'd taken that away from her in one moment of weakness. He felt his hands shaking and he closed his eyes feeling the cold of the night air seep in past the collar of his white jacket. He rubbed the side of his neck and thought about that warlock child he'd met earlier. Clary had told them her name was Madzie and that Iris was running some sort of warlock orphanage without the consent of the mothers. He remembered vaguely coming to on the floor after Iris had thrown him into the ceiling and hearing the little voice trying to protect him. He wished he'd been able to stop Iris and save that little girl. She'd helped him and he couldn't even return the favor.

He heard movement behind one of the shrubs and realized that he'd had nothing but his stele on him when he opened his eyes to stand defensively. He ran his stele over his sight rune and strangely enough Madzie was hiding behind the bus.

"Hello again...you can come out. I won't hurt you." Alec put his stele away and looked around to see that she was alone. The closer she got, the more disheveled she looked, a cut on her face and blood on her hands and stockings. Alec rushed to kneel in front of her.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Where's your Nana?" Alec looked her over for injuries but she didn't seem to be in pain, just freezing to the touch. He pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around the little girl trying to warm her up.

"A bad man hurt her." Her voice was soft and timid. She reached up and touched his deflect rune on his neck and traced a circle.

"A bad man with a neck rune in the shape of a circle...Valentine." Alec whispered shaking his head. He looked back at the institute knowing it wasn't safe to Madzie here, not with Aldertree running things and right now, Jace and Isabelle were taking care of Clary.

"Madzie, my name is Alec and I'm going to keep you safe okay? I promise I won't let anything happen to you." She nodded her head slowly throwing her little arms around his neck pulling herself into him for a hug. Alec was surprised but hugged her back tightly, lifting her off the ground and heading down the street to go to only other place that he felt safe.

He walked into a convenience store to grab a few things and earned some very strange looks from the clerk but no one dared question him. He knew it wasn't safe though. He called a cab instead feeling Madzie's skin not getting much warmer from the wind whipping around the city. He kept his grip on her in the car and she started to drift off against him as he stroked her hair. Once they'd arrived at Magnus' place, they took the elevator up and knocked a few moments on the door. Madzie looked at him worried and he pulled out his phone dialing Magnus' number only to reach his voicemail. He sat Madzie down and turned away from her to leave a message so he didn't scare her.

"Hey Magnus, it's Alec. I'm kind of standing outside of your place right now in desperate need of somewhere safe. If you could call me back as soon as possible that would be great." Alec turned back towards the door to see it was now wide open and Madzie was staring up at him.

"Did you...did you open that?" Alec questioned and she nodded holding her hand out. Alec smiled picking up the grocery bag taking her hand in his to follow her through the door. He hadn't really explored Magnus' apartment before but he knew where the bathroom and bedroom were after Luke was attacked. He picked Madzie up and put her on the sink looking at her hands first.

"I have a little brother named Max who is a bit older than you but when he was your age, he had a hard time staying on his feet. He'd scrap his knees and hands up all the time just running around outside and I used this medicine so it didn't sting his skin. If I promise to be real gentle, will you let me clean your scratches up?" Alec watched her eyes look over the medicine and back up to his face.

"Is it going to hurt?" She asked pitifully and Alec riffled around in the bag pulling out a stuffed purple bunny.

"It might hurt a little but if it does you can give this a squeeze and I'll stop okay?" Madzie squeezed the bunny to her chest as Alec cut the bloody panty hose off the child and saw scraps both the knees like she'd fallen while running. He turned the sink on and wet one of the rags in the drawer to clean up the blood and debris before bandaging it. It wasn't until he got the first knee cleaned up did he realize Madzie was humming a song.

"That sounds like a fun song. Can you sing it for me?" Alec wanted to distract her in case the medicine did happen to hurt her skin. She waited a few moments before she started to sing outloud.

"I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got whosits and whatsits galore." Alec smiled hearing her little voice.

"You want thingamabobs? I got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more." Alec finished bandaging her knees and moving his head back and forth as she sang making her smile. He took her small hand into his and started to clean it. She continued to sing and even laughed when Alec moved his shoulders like he was dancing. He'd dabbed at the mark on her cheek and put some ointment on it and threw his arms out.

"All done! You're so brave." Alec threw away all the trash and pulled out an oversized I LOVE NY shirt he'd picked up in the store. He picked her up from the sink and she crossed her legs like she had to go to the bathroom and Alec's eyes went wide.

"I'm going to step out here, you yell for me if you need something okay." Alec waited outside the door, pulling his dress shirt off and tossing it over the couch. He'd wished he'd changed before he left but he imagine he could ask Magnus if he could borrow some pants whenever he got home. He checked his phone as the door creaked open and Madzie had put the shirt on after using the bathroom. It was so large on her small frame that Alec silently considered taking a photo of how cute she looked to show Isabelle later but he shook such ridiculous thoughts from his head when she started to yawn.

"You ready to go to bed? I don't think Magnus will mind if you nap in his bed until he gets home." Madzie walked over to Alec and grabbed his hand. He smiled holding onto the little hand as he led her back into Magnus' room. It was quite lavish as it always was but instead of getting under the covers, he pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed and picked Madzie up to put her on the bed. She whined when he tried to tuck her in.

"What's wrong? Are you hurting?" Alec panicked for a moment but she shook her head letting her head fall.

"You want me to lay with you for a little while?" Alec asked seeing her head move up and down making him grin. He kicked his dress shoes off and climbed into the bed immediately being bombarded by Madzie who laid on top of his chest knocking the air out of him. He pulled the blanket up and covered her small body as she snuggled into him.

"I'll be right here okay. Just try and get some sleep. You're safe." Alec ran his hand up and down her back watching it rise and fall softly as she drifted off to sleep. His eyes watched her gills and found it to be quite soothing after such an awful day. He hadn't even realized how tired he was until he was dozing off clutching onto Madzie to make sure she was safe.

"I'm so sorry I missed your call Alexander. I got an emergency call from Simon but you know you're always welcome in my loft. Please call me back or come by. I'm worried." Magnus hung up the phone and froze feeling a waft of unfamiliar warlock magic hit him in the face as he reached his front door. He put his hand carefully on the knob and push open slowly looking around.

"Whoever is trespassing, you must have a serious death wish." Magnus looked around and noticed a shirt lying on the back of his couch with blood stains on it. It held the faint scent of Alec's soap and he ran to the bathroom.

"Alec!? Alexander!?" There were bloody rags in teh sink and more clothes with blood. Magnus heard soft snores coming from his bedroom and walked slowly towards the door opening it lightly to see Alec completely passed out in the middle of his bed with a small child clinging to his body, his runed arms wrapped around her securely and mouth gaped allowing him to take in air. He got a bit closer and noticed the gills on the child. She was a warlock child. Magnus wondered where Alec had come across a warlock child in New York that he didn't know.

"Mm Magnus." Alec mumbled in his sleep and Magnus smiled pushing some of his hair off of his forehead making him stir. Alec opened his eyes slowly and Magnus glanced down at the little girl in his arms.

"I can explain...you're going to be unhappy with me but then you're going to give me a pass because it's been a really long day and I promise I'll make it up to you." Alec whispered making Magnus lift his eyebrows.

"After the scare you gave me with leaving a bloody shirt on my couch, I hope you have something lavish planned. May I ask where you acquired a warlock child that I've never met? As the High Warlock of Brooklyn, it's kind of my job to keep tabs on those living in my city." Magnus gestured to the little girl and Alec shifted carefully out from under her and covered her up with the blanket before following Magnus out into his living room.

"So I took your advice with Clary and tried to make it right." Magnus gave him a strange look like he already knew he didn't like where this was going.

"She wanted to try and bring her mother back and before you get mad, I know terrible of an idea that is and I know I went against everything I believe in to try and dabble into that kind of magic but I knew she wouldn't stop and I didn't want her going into it alone." Alec explained watching Magnus cross his arms over his chest in irritation.

"I knew she wouldn't give up the idea. She asked for my help and I turned her down but if there are warlocks in the city doing resurrection magic then that's a huge problem." 

"That's not even the worst part, she was running a warlock baby den Magnus. She was having women come in for treatment and having them raped by demons to repopulate the warlock population. I met one of the women and she said that Iris would take their memories and their babies, it was awful." Magnus clenched his jaw and shook his head.

"Dammit Iris. She'd spoke of this all to me once and I shut her down. Why does no one listen to me?!" Magnus raised his voice but Alec grabbed his hand trying to keep his voice down. Magnus watched Alec glance back at the door and thought it was sweet how much he cared.

"Judging by the white attire, I take it the spell didn't work out the way Clary had planned. Is she alright?" Magnus asked feeling Alec's grip loosen. He turned his hand over to hold his hands.

"She's kind of a mess but it could have been a lot worse if Iris would have succeeded in her intended plan for her. Isabelle and Jace are with her." Alec shrugged.

"And you? How are you?" Magnus rand his thumb over Alec's and he looked up at him.

"I'm just trying to focus on keeping Madzie safe...that's her name by the way." Alec smiled just saying her name.

"You seem quite smitten with her." Magnus smirked and Alec blushed. The moment was crushed by screams coming from Magnus' room where they both bolted to, orange orbs on Magnus' fingertips ready to fight whatever was hurting the child.

"Madzie! What's wrong!?" Alec ran towards the bed and she wrapped her arms around his neck but she didn't say anything.

"You're safe her little dove. You need not worry." Magnus sat down on the bed but Madzie clung tighter to Alec. Magnus retracted his hand.

"It's okay this is my very good friend Magnus. He's special like you." The girl looked from Alec to Magnus like she was trying to decide whether it was truly safe.

"I trust Magnus very much, you can trust him too. I promise." Magnus felt his heart flutter a bit hearing Alec say how much he trusted him. Magnus extended his hand once more.

"It's very nice to meet you Madzie." Alec nudged her head slightly and she looked down at Magnus' hand before cautiously reaching her own out to touch his. Magnus smiled holding onto the tiny hand and Alec looked pleased.

"I don't know about you two but I'm completely beat." Alec moved and picked Madzie up.

"We've intruded in your room-" Magnus narrows his gaze at Alec trying to figure out what the rush was for.

"Nonsense. This bed is big enough for all of us...unless you're more comfortable with me sleeping in the guest room-" Alec cut Magnus off.

"What? No of course not! This is your home, your room. If anyone sleeps in the guest room it'll be us." Alec insisted pulling Madzie further into his arms but Magnus put his hand on Alec's arm.

"Alec you don't have any weapons. I'd feel a lot better if the both of you were close enough for me to protect should something actually get past my wards." They both looked at the little girl who seemed to be looking Magnus over carefully, much like she had when she first met Alec.

"You're probably right. I mean as long as you're okay with that." Magnus smiled at Alec and snapped his fingers changing out of his clothes into silk pajamas. Magnus pulled down the sheets and Madzie still didn't want to let go of Alec.

"Would you like me to help you slip into something more comfortable? It would appear your new shadow is quite resilient." Alec blushed.

"Just some pants would be nice." Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec's white dress pants were now soft, black pajama bottoms. His belt and pants appeared folded on the arm chair in the corner. Madzie got under the covers and grabbed her purple bunny as Alec got settled on the left side of the bed. Instead of her sleeping in the middle, she made sure she was pressed right up under Alec's arm making Magnus laugh as he placed a pillow barrier between him and the girl just in case she still wasn't comfortable with him. He wouldn't push. Magnus knows what it's like to grow up being terrified of new people as a child with special abilities.

"I don't know much about you little dove. Would you like me to keep the lights on? Maybe some lavender in the air to soothe you? Or some warm milk." Madzie looked over at Magnus before reaching up to whisper in Alec's ear. Alec smiled softly and waited for Madzie to get settled back next to him before speaking.

"She doesn't know what lavender is but you can dim the lights as long as you keep them on." Alec rubbed circles into Madzie's back as Magnus dimmed the lights and let purple stream from his fingertips into the air leaving a pleasantly soothing smells in the air before settling back into his bed turning onto his side to stare at Alec. He watched Madzie's hand go limp in Alec's and he smiled. Alec turned his head to return Magnus' gaze.

"I'm really sorry for just showing up and sort of taking over your bed." Alec whispered.

"You know you're always welcome here but I'll admit, this is not how I pictured getting you into bed for the first time." Magnus cocked his eyebrow making Alec blush.

"To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't gotten me in here before we could go on our first date." Magnus chuckle, eyes going wide.

"Alexander! You are being very cheeky right now." Magnus adjusted the pillow out of his face to see him better.

"It's been a really long day. I didn't think I would ever see her again and I walked outside to try and catch my breath after the ceremony and there she was. I was so ready to add her to the list of people that I'd failed to protect and she just...appeared. She kinda saved me tonight." Magnus watched Alec run his hand over her hair softly and smiled.

"Seeing how well you are with her kind of makes me swoon, you know." Magnus smirked. Alec moved his arm up to lay across the top of the bed, reaching towards Magnus.

"What can I say? I have a soft spot for cute warlocks." Magnus reached up and tangled his fingers into Alec's.

"You need to sleep darling, you look exhausted. Tomorrow we will talk more about that warlock baby ring and figure out how we're going to keep this little one safe." Alec's face softened.

"Why are you so good to me?" Alec asked genuinely making Magnus give his hand a squeeze.

"Because you deserve it Alexander and it's my personal mission for you to wake up one day and realize just how special you truly are." Magnus put his free hand to his lips kissing it and sending blue sparks towards Alec's cheek making his eyes flutter where the kiss landed.

"Sweet dreams angel." Magnus didn't let go of Alec's had as he settled into his sheets. Alec didn't mind. He liked having the contact with him. He felt so far away in the bed with Madzie pressed to his side and a pillow between her and Magnus.

"Sweet Dreams Magnus." Alec closed his eyes and felt how relaxed his body was. He'd never felt so comfortable in a bed before but he liked it. He felt safe here with Magnus. He felt like he wasn't so broken. It was a feeling he wanted to get used to.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus woke up earlier than usual but he felt rested. He'd almost forgotten about what he'd come home to last night until he opened his eyes and saw the most adorable child sprawled across Alec's chest, clinging to his white shirt with Alec's hand resting atop her little one. He had to take a photo or else he feared no one would believe how utterly soft and adorable he was when no one was looking. He pocketed his phone before pulling the covers up around Madzie's shoulder and walked into his bathroom waving a sound spell over the door so he didn't wake either of the two sleepy heads still knocked out in his bed. He tried not to think about how insanely domestic the whole thing was because he knew he and Alec hadn't even had their first date yet. How could he possibly think a life like this would be anywhere near a possibility yet?

Magnus walked out of the bathroom in fresh lounge clothes and noticed that Alec was now alone in the bed. He looked around the room to see if maybe the little one was hiding but he quickly found her standing in the living room. She turned to face him and he smiled.

"Good morning little dove. Did you sleep well?" Madzie still hadn't spoken a word to him yet and Magnus didn't seem to mind.

"Why don't we let Alexander sleep in today and we'll try and whip up some breakfast? What do you like? Pancakes? Waffles? Eggs and coffee? Oh I know, how about cereal? That's easy and there are so many different kinds." Magnus walked into his kitchen and waited for Madzie to follow. Eventually she peered around the corner to see what he was doing and he waved his hand over the counter popping in as many cereal boxes as he could think of making Madzie's eyes go a bit wide watching him do magic. He pulled a few bowls down from the cabinet and found some spoons as she explored the boxes.

"You pick the box and I'll pour the milk. I'm going to have some fruity pebbles." Madzie watched Magnus pour his own bowl and grab a napkin before she pulled a box off the counter and held onto it.

"Trix, wonderful choice. Plus that silly rabbit always has the best games on the box." Magnus poured her bowl and carried it to the living room knowing that the chairs in the kitchen were entirely too tall for her to sit up on without him picking her up and he wasn't sure she was ready for him to touch her yet. Once they were sitting down, he conjured a decent sized TV far enough away that it wouldn't ruin her little eyes and turned on cartoons. Once she had finished staring at the Trix box, she was enthralled by the cartoons playing out across the screen. Magnus hadn't spent time with a child for more than a few hours in a long time. Even if she didn't talk to him, her company was enough for him. They ate in silence until House of Mouse came on and Madzie made a noise of excitement.

"Do you like this one? It has everyone from Princesses to the villains and even all the animals. It's one of the reasons I opened a club of my own for special people like us to go to and have fun." Madzie seemed to get a kick out of that and Magnus took it as a simple win. However the moment Alec stepped out of his bedroom his attention was plastered on the sexy bed head and low hanging pajama bottoms as he stretched his arms over his head upon entering the room. 

"Good morning." His morning voice was a voice Magnus could definitely wake up with excitement to.

"Indeed it is." Magnus cleared his throat as Alec walked over and looked at Madzie's bowl.

"This is terrible for her teeth. It looks like a bowl of sugar." Alec complained but Madzie held up the box for him to look at.

"I have a feeling she picked this one because of the bunny so technically it's your fault she picked it but there are about 50 other options if you'd like to help yourself." Alec rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen to retrieve a bowl for himself. Magnus would be lying if he said he didn't watch the sway of his hips as he moved through the loft feet bare and scratching the top of Madzie's head as he passed. She was too engrossed in the cartoons on the TV to respond but when Alec returned with a bowl of his own, Magnus chuckled at the cereal he'd picked.

"Fruit Loops? Really? You complain about her taste in cereal but you pick Fruit Loops." Magnus teased but Alec furrowed his brow as he brought the spoon to his lips.

"It's got fruit in it right?" Alec took his first bite and his eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline making Magnus laugh out loud.

"Yeah that's not fruit at all." Alec didn't seem to stop eating the cereal though and Magnus shook his head. It was nice to watch the strict Shadowhunter stray from something uniform and have a sugary cereal. Madzie let out a laugh watching the show and both men looked down at her with smiles before looking at one another fondly. Neither one thought this would be one of the first experiences they'd be having together as a couple or were they even a couple. Magnus had no idea what Alec considered them but they hadn't even gone on a real date yet.

"You're going to magic all that cereal you didn't eat back where you found it right?" Alec looked away into his bowl breaking the eye contact.

"I bought all of it so that would be sort of a waste. You can take the boring ones back to the institute if you'd like. Madzie and I will keep the good stuff here that way you have a reason to come back." Magnus winked at him.

"You mean another reason. I already have two." Alec watched Magnus freeze as he was eating and was greeted with his soft lips pulling into a smile. Magnus couldn't get enough of his smile. He knew how rare and special they were and it brought him a tinge of warmth to his belly every time he earned one.

“Do you have a couple toothbrushes we could borrow? I don’t want the cereal to rot her teeth.” Alec took Madzie’s empty bowl and Magnus waved towards the bathroom.

“There’s a little purple one for Madzie and a green one for you.” Magnus got up from the couch and took the bowls from Alec as he led her into the bathroom. Magnus placed the boxes of cereal in the cabinet and shrunk down some of the other boxes to put in a bag. He wasn’t going to be wasteful but he’d realized he’d probably need to make a list of things he’d need if a child was going to be living her for a while.

“Do you mind if I clean the dishes? It’s the least I can do.” Alec popped up behind Magnus.

 “I can just magic them clean-“ Alec made a face making Magnus put his hands up in surrender so he could wash the dishes. Magnus walked into the room, grabbing Alec’s bloody dress shirt to magic both that and his pants clean for him to put back on. When he walked back out to the kitchen holding the clothes, he heard Alec humming a familiar tune.  
  
“Are you humming The Little Mermaid?” Magnus laughed amused but Alec looked confused.  
  
“What?” Alec questioned unsure of what Magnus even asked.  
  
“It’s a kids movie. The Little Mermaid? I’m almost certain that’s what you were humming just now.” Magnus leaned on the counter and Alec continued to wash the bowls in the sink.  
  
“It was a song Madzie was singing when I bandaged her cuts. It’s kind of catchy but I don’t know the words or the movie. We didn’t watch a lot of kid movies growing up.” Alec reminded Magnus of who his parents were and he internally mourned the childhood the Lightwood children probably missed out on. Alec broke through his thoughts.  
  
“I have to go back to the institute for a little while but I’m not sure how I’m going to do that without upsetting her. I need to check and make sure everything is okay and maybe grab a shower.” Alec explained looking worried.  
  
“She’ll be fine here Alexander. I think I have an idea of how to get her to warm up to me. You go home and take care of what you need to and we’ll be here when you get back. If you want, you can even text me and I’ll portal you back.” Alec let out a sigh finishing the dishes and nodding.  
  
“I cleaned the blood out of your clothes. I forgot to mention how wonderfully angelic you look in white by the way.” Magnus smirked holding Alec’s clothes out for him to take. He paused holding onto Magnus’ arm before taking his clothes.  
  
“Thank you…this all seems so unfair to ask of you-“  
  
“Alexander, I like having you here. I like watching you sleep so comfortably and enjoying a little bit of sugary cereal. Having Madzie here is a bonus.” Alec stepped into Magnus’ space and Magnus lost his breath for a moment.  
  
“Promise me the moment this all becomes too much, when I start asking too much of you, that you’ll tell me. Please.” Alec moved his hands down to squeeze Magnus’, his clothes draping over the tops of their hands.  
  
“I promise. Now go get dressed.” Magnus kissed Alec’s cheek pulling a blush from him, letting go of his hands to take his clothes into the next room. Magnus quickly grabbed a piece of paper and started writing a few things down that he had planned on doing while Alec was gone. He really wanted Madzie to be able to trust him and if he had to break out the big guns, he would.

"Hey, I’ve got to go out for a little while but I promise you’ll be safe with Magnus.” Alec was talking in hushed tones to Madzie outside of the bathroom.

“Will you be gone long?” Magnus had heard her voice for the first time and it was absolutely precious.

“Not too long. A couple hours but if you be good for Magnus then I’ll bring back a present for you, does that sound good?” Alec was kneeling so low to the ground that Magnus couldn’t fathom the man’s flexibility but he tried not to turn his thoughts naughty.

“We have lots to do today little dove. I promise you’ll enjoy yourself until dear Alexander returns. How would you like to a trip under the sea?” Magnus cocked his eyebrows getting Madzie’s attention.

“Magnus, I don’t think it’s a good idea to take her to the beach. It’s pretty cold this time of year.” Alec straight himself out and Magnus shook his head walking towards him to straighten his white jacket out.

“When you return, you’ll be watching The Little Mermaid so try not to make any plans.” Alec looked down at Madzie whose face lit up just at the mention of her favorite film.  

“Once I get back, I’m all yours. Call if you need anything, I mean it. Anything at all.” Alec looked at Magnus who waved his arm to open Alec a portal.

“Scoot now Alexander, we have things to do.” Magnus shooed Alec through the portal and watched it close leaving him and the tiny girl in the living room staring at one another.

“Alright little dove, before we get to work I want to play a game with you just so I can get to know you a little bit. Would you like to play a game?” Magnus extended his hand and Madzie waited a few moments before she took it, letting Magnus walk her over to the coffee table. They sat down and he got comfortable.

“Let’s start easy, what’s your favorite color?” Magnus waved his hand over the table and little squares of color appeared for her to search from. She touched the purple square with her fingertip and Magnus smiled.

“Purple is a beautiful color. Goes wonderfully with your skin tone.” Magnus went to stroke her cheek but she put her hands up like he might touch her gills.

“Oh sweetheart, I’d never hurt you or touch your mark. Your gills are beautiful and no one has the right to touch or see them unless you want them to. Don’t you forget that.” Magnus made sure she knew that she could say no to things no matter who was inquiring. She looked up to his neck and checked both sides.

“Did you want to see my mark?” Magnus asked carefully and she nodded. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly to show off his cat eyes. She tilted her head for a moment taking in the hues of gold and he tried to keep his face from being too serious.

She let herself smile at him and he couldn’t help but smile back. He was making progress.

“You have gills like little Flounder and I have eyes like the sneaky cat from Cinderella.” Madzie laughed and Magnus turned towards her a bit.

“Madzie, I know you’re scared but I want you to feel safe here. I want you to be able to sleep and play peacefully without fear of someone or something trying to hurt you. If you’d let me, I’d like to conjure you a room to your liking. Lots of mermaid things, maybe even some toys? Would you like that?” Magnus squinted hopeful and Madzie moved her lips around like she was thinking about it.

“Could Alec stay with us?” She finally spoke to him and Magnus felt his chest perk up.

“Of course but we should probably wait on making him a room so he can decide what he wants in his. We could surprise him with a room for you though, I’m sure he’d love it.” Madzie nodded.

They spent the rest of the day talking about things that Madzie liked and Magnus drew a picture of what her room could look like from the type of bed to the colors of the walls. By lunch time, Magnus got some of her favorite foods out of her and managed to make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich just in time for her to catch a nap on the couch while watching Cinderella since they were waiting for Alec to return to watch The Little Mermaid. Magnus enjoyed finally getting to spend time with the little girl one his own to get to know the girl Iris had raised. He knew it was too soon to ask her questions about her Nana, as she called her but eventually he’d need to deal with that issues. He sent word to Catarina who promised to check and make sure there were no children who needed care or women that needed medical attention. The more Magnus learned about the little girl, the more he understood why Alec had formed such an attachment. He couldn’t think of anything else other than protecting her from the world outside the loft doors.

 

Alec walked into the Institute and tried to make it to his room without being stopped but that was next to impossible.

“Lightwood, Jace is looking for you. Should I tell him you’re catching up on sleep you missed last night?” Raj looked him over and Alec rolled his eyes.

“I’ll find him on my own and Raj, it would do you well to mind your own business about where I spend my evenings.” Alec warned seeing Raj regretting his choice of words instantly. Raj wasn't a bad guy, he was a lot like Alec in the mission sense but he kind of stumbled when it came to social situations. Unlike Alec, he actually tried to talk to people and be friendly. Alec didn't see the point but he was trying to change for the better. He'd reached his room and noticed everything was exactly where he left it. His phone had a ton of messages from Isabelle and Jace but he didn’t bother answering them before getting in the shower. He wondered what Magnus and Madzie were up to, if she’d be okay without him, if he should bring dinner back for them or how he planned to explain all of this to Jace and Isabelle without them making a huge deal out of it. He tried not to think about the impending war going on and how Valentine was now in possession of a warlock who had great power and bad intentions. He could feel the tightness in his shoulders as the hot water ran down his back.  

So much had happened in the last few days it all felt like a dream. He couldn’t stand the walls of the institute anymore. It felt like everyone was staring at him for one reason or another. He was weak and got possessed, killing a follow Shadowhunter, he almost died twice trying to protect his siblings and of course everyone’s favorite piece of gossip, his sexuality and nonexistent relations with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He’d heard them whispering about him and Magnus before and it always bothered him but he never knew what to say back. He didn’t know what bothered him more: people thinking that because he was gay he was somehow weaker or that he was some sort of mutant for choosing a warlock. It hurt him but it didn’t matter what they thought because coming out freed him. He hadn’t figured out everything with Magnus yet but when he was with him, he felt like he could breathe, he felt like he could truly be himself.

Alec got out of the bathroom and dressed quickly, grabbing a bag from the closet and tossing a few things into it. He hadn’t really made any plans on staying the night at Magnus’ again but he wanted to make sure he had everything he needed just in case he ended up staying there. He decided to toss his thigh holster into the bag along with a whistle that he found in his drawer. It was a whistle he’d gotten to give Clary as sort of a way to stick it to her that she didn’t deserve to be here or weaponed up like a real Shadowhunter but things had changed since he’d bought it. He thought of a better use for it now.

The door flew open and Isabelle practically slid inside, slamming it shut behind her.

“Where the hell have you been?! We’ve been worried sick all night. You didn’t take your phone or weapons. Are you out of your mind!?” Isabelle looked down at the bag and frowned.

“Alec…you can’t keep running away from us. I was possessed too-”

“And yet you managed not to kill Clary’s mother.” Alec couldn’t help the guilt bubbling over.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Alec plopped down on his bed and instantly thought about how much softer Magnus’ bed was last night.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure you didn’t get enough sleep without being in your own bed.” Isabelle rubbed his back.

“Actually I slept really well…I crashed at Magnus’ place.” Isabelle’s eyebrows went up.

“Before you start, nothing like that happened. I just…I feel better whenever he’s around. His loft is kind of relaxing.” Isabelle smiled.

“I’m glad Magnus can provide you a safe space and comfort, whatever kind it may be.” She teased making Alec give her a little hint of a smile that slid of his face when he thought about Clary.

“How is Clary doing?” Isabelle bit her lip.

“She’s kind of embracing her sadness at this point. Jace is staying pretty close, letting her cry and listening to stories about her. I think it’s helping him too. We can’t get ahold of Simon or Luke right now so it’s better for her to get it out now so she can grieve with them later.” Alec nodded taking in what Isabelle was saying and she nudged him.

“Just because she’s here grieving doesn’t mean you have to take off. This is still your home too.” Isabelle took Alec’s hand and he looked down at it. It wasn’t the same hand that he’d killed Jocelyn with but having his baby sister even remotely close to it made him anxious.

“Right now, this place is a lot harder to be in than it usually is. It’s like I can’t breathe or think. My mind goes a hundred miles a minute hearing all these voices and feeling everyone’s eyes on me. Just the idea of trying to talk to Clary again makes me sick.” Alec felt himself getting worked up and tried to think of something to relax, his mind going to Madzie and the song she taught him that Magnus said was from a movie about a little mermaid.

“It’s all still really fresh right now. Give her some time-”

“Time won’t fix it Iz. No matter what I will always be the face of the person that killed her mother. I’m the person who was possessed and ruined her whole life. If she were possessed and killed you, that’s exactly how I’d feel and you know you’d be the same if it were me that was sent to the angels and not Jocelyn.” Izzy’s frown only grew deeper knowing that her brother was hurting and nothing she could say would fix it.

“Are you sure staying with Magnus is a good idea? I mean you guys just started dating. It’s kind of rushing things a little.” Isabelle asked sincerely and Alec had to hold back a snort remembering that she didn’t know about Madzie.

“He said he liked having me around and I made him promise that he’d tell me if it became too much for him.” Isabelle touched Alec’s cheek.

“I’ve never seen someone make you feel so…safe. If you need some time away from here, then that’s fine but please just don’t think you can’t ever come here. Jace and I still live here too. This is our home and I don’t want you to ever think that we won’t fight the world to remind you of that.” Alec put his hand on top of his sisters before pulling her into a hug. He wanted to tell her about Madzie and everything that had happened but he knew now wasn’t the time. Talking about Madzie inside the institute walls where everything is monitored was not an option. They got up and Alec tossed his bag on the chair so he could run reports and catch up on whatever their posts were going to be under Aldertree’s orders but before Izzy could get out the door he remembered something.

“Hey Iz do you know a movie called The Little Mermaid?” He asked making Isabelle laugh.

“I didn’t think ginger was your type.” She teased leaving him with only one option which didn’t pan out so well when several people caught him using the work monitors to search for a Disney movie. At least he knew what to look for when he stopped on the way to Magnus’ place. He filled out his report for Iris’ place and made sure to submit them all to Aldertree directly letting home know that he’d be keeping an eye on the local warlocks to make sure no more of them turned up missing or used to aid Valentine. He left out a few details regarding Madzie and how she’d stumbled up to the institute but he refused to put her in anymore danger than she already was. It was around 6:30 when he finally finished up going over all the mission assignments seeing that Victor had benched Jace from missions, Clary and Isabelle were assigned to a Iron Sisters trip and he was placed on Downworlder watch. He didn’t mind the task but he hated the meaning behind it. He knew it was a jab just like everything else Aldertree had said in regards to Magnus like he was just some creature but it didn’t matter what he thought that much has become clear.  

Alec opened his bedroom door and saw Jace sitting on his bed holding his bag looking disappointed.

“I guess you talked to Izzy.” Alec walked over to grab his jacket and started to unstrap his thigh holster.

“If he’s not making you a portal, you shouldn’t take that off. It’s dangerous out there and since you decided to go out without a phone or weapons last night, maybe you should keep that on all the time.” Jace was pissed and Alec knew it.

“I didn’t have time-”

“Bullshit Alec. You’re hurting yourself and putting yourself in harms way because you feel guilty and I’m not going to let you do that, not anymore.” Jace raised his voice.

“It wasn’t like that.” Alec knew Jace had a right to be upset with him. If something happened to Alec, Jace would be directly hurt by that. They’d tested the lengths of their bond recently and neither of them wanted to feel that kind of pain again. Jace stood up and crossed the room grabbing Alec’s hand and fisting it in his own.

“You’re my brother, my Parabatai. I will always have your back and I will never let you go again but you’ve got to forgive yourself. Please stop trying to pay a life debt that you don’t owe.” Jace watched him closely and Alec nodded his head letting his brother pull him into a tight hug. Alec hugged him back.

“Keep an eye on the institute. My phone is on and charged if you need me.” Alec shouldered his bag.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…” Jace smirked as Alec waved back at him and walked through the institute again for people to look at him, only this time he was leaving with a bag on his shoulder. He focused on the door and didn’t bother listening to whatever they were saying. He had searched for a place to pick up a prize for Madzie and by the time he had grabbed a giant fluffy blue and yellow flounder fish and got to Magnus’, it was already 7:30.

He could smell food cooking and Magnus’ singing from the kitchen but it was the little giggles accompanying it from near the bedroom that caught his attention. He sat his things at the door and followed the sounds peering in to see Madzie sitting on the counter in brand new pajamas, clean hair and no sign of her bandages which meant Magnus must have healed her.

“Just keep stirring that. We don’t want it to get lumpy.” Magnus licked his finger where some of whatever he was making had gotten. He was wearing black house pants and a loose-fitting shirt, hair pulled back out of his face like Alec had never seen before but quite liked.

“Smells good in here.” He finally spoke making them both jump. He put his hands up in a silent apology and Madzie’s face lit up. Alec walked over and gave her a hug but she jumped off the counter to hold onto him around his neck.

"Hey you never texted me for a portal." Magnus reminded Alec but he shrugged.

"I had to make a stop. It's not a big deal." He looked at Madzie who looked much happier than when he'd left this morning.

“Someone’s in a good mood. Did you have a fun day with Magnus?” Alec asked feeling her nod her head into his neck.

“What a silly question darling, of course she had a fun day with me. I’m quite enjoyable and you’re just in time for dinner.” Magnus turned the stove off and started making plates.

“What are we having?” Alec peeked into the pot and Magnus swatted his hand.

“It’s a surprise. You grab the silverware and napkins while I finish this up. Little dove, you can prep the movie.” Madzie jumped down and ran into the living room leaving Alec and Magnus in the kitchen alone.

“How was your day dear?” Magnus smiled at him and Alec sighed feeling like he could breathe for the first time all day.

“It was alright I guess. I wish I could have been here with you guys though. She looks like she’s really warmed up to you.” Magnus laughed.

“Trust me, no one is more relieved than me. She’s the most precious child I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.” Magnus turned and looked at Alec who looked beat.

“Are you sure you’re up for a movie? You look exhausted.” Magnus pushed some of Alec’s hair out of his eye and he closed his eyes chasing the feeling of Magnus’ hand.

“I’ll be fine as long as I can be off my feet and be next to you guys.” Magnus stroked his cheek and put his hand on Alec’s chest.

“Then let’s get this party started.” Magnus carried the plates out to the table and Alec placed the napkin on Madzie’s lap before handing her a small fork. She sat snuggly against Alec’s hip, Magnus not feeling jealous one bit but happy that they were reunited after such a long day. Alec took a bite of his food and really enjoyed it.

“What is this? It’s really good.” He asked taking another bite.

“Buffalo Chicken Mac N Cheese. Madzie likes macaroni and I like spicy. We figured you were a protein guy so we like to call this dish Spicy Bane Chicky Lightwood Madzie N Cheese.” Alec laughed and Madzie started clapping her hands as the movie started. Alec followed along with the movie and looked down at Madzie every time she reacted to a character with laughter or sad cries of oh no! He tried not to glance over at Magnus too much but when he waved his hand to clear the dishes he looked over at him.

“She’ll be out soon and you’ve done enough for one day.” Magnus whispered putting his arm on the back of the sofa and giving the back of his neck a squeeze. Alec was too busy enjoying his fingertips rubbing the sore muscles of his neck to even think twice about challenging him. Magnus continued to rub until Alec dozed off.

When he awoke, it was to Magnus turning the TV off and picking a sleeping Madzie up.

“I can stay on the couch tonight and you two can take the bed.” Alec sat up rubbing his eyes and Magnus curled his finger at him to follow. Alec got up and followed Magnus towards a door he’d never seen before. When he opened it, his jaw dropped seeing the newly decorated room fit for an underwater princess with purple walls, blue fabric and white lights draped everywhere. Characters from the movie they’d just watched plastered everywhere and a giant clam chair with pearl pillows in the corner where books lined shelves and toys lay on the floor.  

“Magnus...this is…amazing. Where did all of this come from?” Alec ran his fingertips along the spines of children’s books and stacks of paints and crayons to color with.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. The poor thing wanted to show you but it was a long day. I’m sure she can show you some of her toys tomorrow.” Magnus covered the little girl up and Alec ran back to the door to grab his things, leaving his bag outside of the door before reenter the new room with the giant stuffed fish. Magnus grinned and let Alec place the stuffed Flounder near Madzie without letting it touch her face. She was clutching her bunny and snuggling down into the mermaid comforter.

“Sweetest dreams little dove.” Magnus waved his hand and a night light illuminated the room making it look even more like the entire room was an underwater dream.  Magnus shut the door gently and waved his hand to secure it.

“She’s not locked in but even if something were to get in the loft, it wouldn’t be able to breach her room. I made sure of it when I conjured the rooms.” Magnus reassured Alec.

“Magnus this is all so much. I don’t know what to say.” Alec rubbed the back of his neck not sure how he was going to repay Magnus for all he’s done for him and Madzie.

“You can promise that in the next 30 seconds, you won’t get all grumpy and tell me something silly like you don’t deserve what I’m about to show you.” Alec cocked his head as Magnus extended his hand.

“Bring you bag with you.” Alec blushed knowing that Magnus noticed his bag but he grabbed it and let Magnus led him into another room he was sure was a closet but was another room he’d never seen before. The wood on the walls was dark, one wall was completely filled with books from floor to ceiling, a cherry wood dresser stood tall next to an armoire and a weapons chest.

“I tried to remember some of the things you had in your room at the institute but the last time I spent time there I was a bit too wrapped up in keeping you alive and you bed was tortuously uncomfortable so I made a duplicate of my own. You can fill the drawers and such with as much or as little as you’d like but this is your space. Madzie had insisted on you having your own room too and I thought it was a wonderful idea. There’s even a connecting door here in case you need to get to her quickly. We were going to wait so you could put it together yourself but I realized you’re far too humble for that so…I hope you’re okay with-” Magnus was cut off as Alec’s back clattered to the floor at his feet and he surged his lips against his. Magnus groaned feeling Alec walk him backwards until his back hit the dresser. Magnus reached up and ran his hands up Alec’s chest pushing him back slightly so he could catch his breath.

“Well if I’d have known a new room would get this kind of reaction, I’d buy the entire block and fill it with rooms.” Magnus licked his lips and Alec held onto his hips as he stroked up and down his chest.

“Are you okay, Alexander? If this is all too overwhelming, you can certainly crash on the couch but I can’t promise I won’t try and buy a new one that’s more comfortable for sleeping.” Alec shook his head.

“I am now. Thank you for this…all of this. I owe you so much.” Alec looked up to meet Magnus gaze and Magnus moved his arms up to put around Alec’s neck.

“You don’t owe me anything…well except that date…and maybe a massage. I did overdo it quite a bit today.” Alec smiled and leaned in to kiss Magnus again this time gently.

“Get some rest Alexander. Tomorrow is a new day and we’ll talk then. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” Magnus grudgingly let go of Alec and closed the door behind him so Alec could look through the room. He was intrigued by the titles of the books on the shelves and desperately wanted to spend all night reading them but it was already too late to start one.

He changed his clothes and put his bag in the armoire before lying back on the bed feeling the instant hug of comfort that he felt in Magnus’ bed last night. He wondered if Magnus was still awake right now and if he was thinking about the kisses they’d just shared. Alec liked kissing Magnus. He liked putting his hands on him and having Magnus ground him in that moment as if he wanted him to stop acting and just mentally stop to savor that his lips were tasting anothers.

He smiled to himself proudly that he’d let his body take control and kiss Magnus like that. Magnus made him want to be bold and he liked that. He was pulled from his thoughts when the connecting door opened slowly and Madzie poked her head in.

“Hey are you okay?” Alec sat up on his elbows and Madzie rubbed her eyes.

“Can I stay in here with you tonight?” Her voice barely a whisper and Alec nodded pulling the sheets back. Madzie had her bunny and a new blanket clutched in her little fist as Alec reached down and pulled her onto the bed next to him, recovering them both and letting her snuggle into his side.

“I missed you today.” Alec kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer with the arm he had fastened around her body.

“I missed you too.” Madzie whispered before the room fell silent and they both drifted off in the safety and comfort of each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I didn't think so many people would like this. Thank you so much for all the feedback. I truly enjoy hearing what you think of each chapter. I do plan on including things from what's happening in the show but for now, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. Thanks again for being so lovely! Look forward to hearing what you thought of this chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> So depending on how this is received, I might make it a few chapters long. I mean it's my first Malec/Shadowhunters story so if it's garbage then I'd prefer to wrap it up and keep it short. However if enough people comment and let me know they'd like more, I'd be down to dabble in more chapters.


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